HATE YOUR DECISION BUT LOVE YOUR REASONS? WHAT?

Do you ever have a decision to make, and no matter how you turn it over in your mind, either way it's going to be bad?

I have. And I wasn't prepared for it. 

I grew up thinking that there were right and wrong answers for everything. 

There were rights and wrongs for every choice. 

And now I get here to parenthood and marriage and being a grown up having to make all my own choices... and there are some choices that I've been forced into, and I've HATED my choice, but when I go back over my decision, I can't see any other way! 

We love good vs evil. Hero vs villain. Our brains like to categorize things and put everything and everyone in their proper places. You did this. You are bad. You did that. You are good. 

Brooke Castillo said something that really helped me. She said sometimes there are no rights or wrongs, you just have to like your reasons. 

Yeah, I know. Say it again. 

Sometimes there are no rights or wrongs, you just have to like your reasons. 

That helped. 

I look back on my lose/lose decision and I LOVE my reasons. I stand by my reasons. And I am able to let go of my regret over the decision. I wish there was another way, but until there is, I whole heartedly stand by my decision. 

I remember years ago, I made a major life decision because someone I respected told me God showed them what I was going to do. I have regretted that decision AND regretted my reasons for that decision ever since. For a long time I blamed that person for my choice. I remember when I was thinking about going on e-Harmony. I asked my brother what he thought. And my wise brother said something like, "it doesn't really matter what I think or what anyone else thinks. If you do it, you have to be responsible for your choice. Otherwise you'll blame other people if they tell you to do it and it doesn't work out." 

It's hard to grow up and be responsible for all my decisions. It's even MORE difficult to make decisions when I believe there is a RIGHT or WRONG answer which may or may not be revealed to me but for which I will be punished if I pick the WRONG one instead of the RIGHT one. 

So if you are facing a really hard decision, experiment with not trying to figure out what's right and what's wrong. Think about why you would or wouldn't do it. Do you like your reasons? Do you reasons match your beliefs and core values and priorities? 

I find a lot of freedom in making decisions when I make sure no matter what I choose, I like my reasons.