SHOULDN'T LOVE GET A RESPONSE?

Our kids are so important. 

But they are also funny. One of our kids informed my husband that he was not to kiss them anymore. Yeah... we will figure that one out. 

They need our love so much. I'm working on lots of stuff right now... but I recognize that if my kids feel like anything else outside our lives is consistently more important than they are, I've missed out. 

Funny. My youngest has a hard time going to sleep, so sometimes she bargains with me: "If I stay in bed, will you make a surprise for me? A love note or something?"

Sometimes I say yes. Sometimes I just say "GET TO BED YOU LITTLE STINKER!" 

Sunday night I wrote her a love note. Then I thought, man, I can't just write one to her, I'll write one to all the kids. So I did. Left them on the table for their lovely eyes to see first thing in the morning. 

Stinker DID say thank you. But you know what? I had to pick them pieces of love and beauty OFF OF THE FLOOR after the kids went to school. AND NONE OF THEM tucked the notes like treasures against their hearts and preserved them forever. 

Ungrateful little... but no. Not ungrateful. 

I was thinking about getting mad and nagging them, "doesn't anyone want my love notes.. poor me they are on the floor. I feel so undervalued. Don't you know how long it took me? Last time I do something sweet for you..." whine whine nag.. Me me me. 

Couple of things came to mind. 

Love notes that I write aren't FOR ME. I'm not trying to get love back. I'm GIVING IT AWAY. SHEESH! I'm quite sure that I never understood that before this year. That has helped me to love without resentment over the quality of love returned. 

Also, I thought - isn't it awesome that my kids are so familiar with displays of love that they don't soak them up like sponges? Isn't it great that notes from me aren't very special because they have a bunch already? 

I do A LOT WRONG as a mom. A LOOOOOTTTTTTT! I'm still angry way too much about dumb dumb stuff. Learning. Still learning. 

But I feel like my husband has been great and being super free with displays of love for our kids, and he has helped me to become sweeter for my kids. Nicknames. Snuggles. Deliberate conversation pointing out how special each one is. 

So, I pick up these love notes off the floor. I might put them in their memory boxes... or recycle them. But I've learned not to be offended. Cause it's not ABOUT me.. and also... it's a good sign, I've decided.