One of my kids always says to me, "what do you mean?" after I say something simple like, "the store is closed so we'll have to go later." And child says, "what do you mean we'll have to go later?" OR I say "There aren't enough cookies for everyone to have one, so let's leave them for now"... Child says "what do you mean let's leave them for now?"
And I want to pull out my hair.
But do you know what, we do the same thing.
Jesus says some little things in the Bible. Like...
"Do not worry."
And we are like, "what do you mean don't worry? Do you mean like about big things or just little things? Like I should worry about my kids but not about the planet... or..."
And another simple one:
"Don't be afraid."
And we're like, "What do you mean don't fear. I'm a mom. I have to be afraid otherwise I wouldn't do a good job. I'm just protecting my kids..." or whatever.
Pick those two tiny little phrases.
What if we stopped trying to figure out what Jesus meant, and what if we started trying to do them.
It's been about a year since I made a conscious decision to stop worrying. Joel's truck just broke down today. Again. For the like.. I don't know.. 5th time since he got it. It was just off the road for 2 months. Got fixed. Something else went. Got fixed. 2 days later, something else went. I am not worried. I don't know what's going to happen. I'm not afraid that God's mad at us or is trying to say that we need to get out of the junk removal business. I think we just need to fix the truck. Joel's amazing about it, and YES OF COURSE IT'S HARD! It affects us.
But run the scenario.
IF I WORRY - what changes? Will I be kinder? More present? Will worry fix the truck quick? Will I be able to offer more support to Joel while I meet him at the door in tears, gripping snotty Kleenex and crying "what are we doing to do.. Oh dear Lord why us????"
If I DON'T worry... what changes? I can be supportive, creative and hopeful. I can be objective. I won't be overwhelmed. I can be a source of peace and stability.
I also think that when we worry and choose fear, we can traumatize ourselves.
There IS such a thing as real trauma. FOR SURE.
BUT... sometimes it seems like we are drawn to our own drama. Like we want to have the best worst story. We have to believe our story is terrible and we have to be afraid and we have to worry about it. Then we feel significant.
I struggle with that sometimes. But it's not real significance. And who wants to win the bad story contest? The prize is just verification that your life is hard. That's not a win.
I don't know. Tell me ONE SINGLE POSITIVE THING that worry has ever done for you?
Me? Nothing. Ever.
There's that quote from Winston Churchill - “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
So lets stop pretending we DON'T know what Jesus means when he says "do not worry" and "do not be afraid."
Worry and fear.
It's a habit. It's a way of life. It's socially acceptable. It's expected. We talk about it and do it without thinking that it's affecting us negatively.
I often get afraid about finances. I'm working on it. The answer isn't to live in an alternative reality and pretend we hae no challenges - but to face reality and decide that it's a mere fact, not a poisonous dart about to strike us... and that I'm powerful and I can do something about it.
I dare you.
Strike the phrase, "I was so worried..." from your vocabulary for one day... for a week. Or the words, "I was afraid that..."
We are powerful.
Worry is such a waste of amazing amount of mental energy and creativity.
Fear is a liar and a thief.
Could you live without fear and worry?
How much time do you think you spend worrying?
How much space in your mind does it fill?
What if it wasn't there?
PS. I know people struggle with anxiety. It's not the same as what I'm talking about. There IS work you can do for that, but it's not something anyone should just say, "why don't you stop??" This is more for people who just have never thought about worrying and fear... Just something I became aware of and realized.. most other people AREN'T aware of the extent that they accept worry and fear as an appropriate way of looking at life.
Comments
Post a Comment